Well I had written this to Chris earlier on who had said he and Fawn would pray for me –
“It is all connected to generation iniquity. And in the womb when my biological dad’s parents insisted I be aborted. Then my step dad came along at 3mths old and he was a freemason, very involved. Also owned a newsagency which sold the most hardcore porn! As a kid and teen I was a mess! As were my siblings. Getting saved at 27 i did have some deliverance when i received the Holy Spirit but it was probably let go by main strongman to fool the inexperienced people praying for me in 1989. But my christian life has been worse than my unsaved life! Not daily, Jesus is in me, but periodically…setbacks! anyway we could all write books on our failures and how we came back up! We were in church for 5 years and then Hell opened and I took us into the wilderness .
Since 2003 we have only been involved in a church 2.5 years until this year began, when after listening to my own preaching it became clear that we needed to avail ourselves of the corporate anointing so God could remove blockages. God was setting us up! Because we chose a church nearby which we knew nothing about except that my wife had previously had prayer ministry at 3 years ago. Turns out their whole focus is on deliverance from generational blood line stuff!
Cos I had been so far the other way writing and preaching a finished work message I was resisting for years this exact idea(reality!). But my past is strewn with evidence that an occult level strongman rules over my flesh and has caused so much shipwreck and damage to us and our extended families. I had already booked for deliverance min in May but was talked out of it by the strongman i guess. So since then God sent Angie Dorman to our church from SWAT. That was a fortnight ago. She has 40 years on front lines being taught by the Lord how to undo these things in people but also cities!
After the first days teaching I was a mess. outwardly i was clinging to the finished work- i am perfect in Christ but inwardly I knew things were churning. So I booked another date for my D day in September. Since then the usual cycle of bipolar type all for it then all against it stuff happened and down I went into a pit of defeat and just kill me now God stuff. I wish He would just deliver me instantly but it seems that we must learn as we go along each step and really see what is involved. Also to come to see the horribleness of our past sins before Christ came in which all got forgotten with a ‘forgive me Jesus’ prayer. We have to be all in on it to dislodge the whole tree—and it is for our kids that he wants it done! otherwise the same messed up crap goes on in their lives..i have seen it in our 3 and my 37 years of prayers have done zero to stop it…but getting on the operating table will!
Then the next morning
This is what I wrote to Chris after he told me you two had agreed to pray for me….
“In the last hour I was sharing with Carmel my wife two dreams I had last night. Then she prayed about them giving our son to God who was in one of the dreams.
But then when I put my hand on her shoulder to pray for her I suddenly went into the spirit! I saw her looking into me with intense hawkish eyes like a falcon, hazel, glowing like amber stone! my wife has blue eyes. her face was like ivory and she was wearing a silver tiara with a beautiful sparkling diamond on her forehead…Every time I looked at her in the spirit – right there in front of me, eyes shut, in our kitchen, I saw her turn her head towards me like a princess but like a peregrine falcon..and those piercing eyes shone into me! I was telling her this as we stood there eyes shut. The love increased so strongly but I began to physical turn my face away – I could not handle the light of her/His love coming into my soul. I was telling her what was happening and she just kept looking into me allowing Father to love thru her,as her. Man!!!! I surrendered even as I was saying out loud I cant do this Lord!It’s too much!! I wanted to get in my old van and drive off to hide in a cave from this undeserved mercy and love coming at me so ferociously through the beautiful princess I had crushed and hurt all these 30 years of marriage! I sobbed as shame made my mouth twist and made me want to shrink back into the black hole within my past…but!I looked at those eyes in the spirit and said out Loud Lord I give you all this shame!! I receive your love for me -and with that I was laughing with tears of joy! Then I read your message above! Send this message to Fawn Chris. I told Carmel so its all good. thank you both!
I have been reminded about a vision given to Tommy Hicks so I found it this morning -8th July 2026.
This is the part I feel that I and many many others are in…..
I could not even begin to understand whether this was a mountain or whether this be a giant. But as I watched it, I
suddenly beheld this great giant, I could see it was struggling for life, to even live. But his body
was covered with debris from head to foot; and at times this great giant would move its body and
act as though it would even rise up at times. And when it did, thousands of little creatures seemed
to run away – hideous looking creatures would run away from this giant – and when he would
become calm, they would come back.
All of a sudden this great giant lifted his hand toward the heavens, and then it lifted its other hand;
and when it did, these creatures by the thousands seemed to flee way from this giant and go into
the darkness, and into the night.
Slowly this great giant began to rise – and as he did, his head and hands went into the clouds. As
he arose to his feet he seemed to have cleansed himself from the debris and filth that was upon
him, and he began to raise his hands into the heavens as though praising the Lord. And as he
raised his hands it was even unto the clouds.
Suddenly, every cloud became silver. The most beautiful silver that I have ever known. As I
watched this phenomena, it was so great, I could not even begin to understand what it all meant.I was so stirred as I watched it and cried unto the Lord, and I said, ‘Oh, Lord, what is the meaning
of this?’ And it felt as if I was actually in the Spirit and I could feel the presence of the Lord, even
as I was asleep.
And from the clouds, suddenly, there came great drops of liquid light raining down upon the
mighty giant, and slowly, slowly, this giant began to melt; began to sink, as it were, into the very
earth itself. And as he melted, his whole form seemed to have melted upon the face of the earth.
And this great rain began to come down; liquid drops of light, as it were, began to flood the very
earth itself. And as I watched this giant that seemed to melt, suddenly it became millions of people
over the face of the earth. As I beheld the sight before me, people stood up all over the world.
They were lifting their hands and they were praising the Lord.At that very moment there came a great thunder that seemed to roar from the heavens. I turned
my eyes toward the heavens and suddenly I saw a figure in white – glistening white – the most
glorious thing I have ever seen in all my life. I did not see the face, but somehow I knew that it
was the Lord Jesus Christ. And as He stretched forth His hand – as He did – He would stretch forth
His hand upon the peoples and the nations of the world, men and women. As He pointed towards
them, this liquid light seemed to flow from His hand into this person and a mighty anointing of God
came upon them. And those people began to go forth in the Name of the Lord.I do not know how long I watched. It seemed it went into days and weeks and months, and I
beheld Christ as He continued to stretch forth His hand. But there was a tragedy. There were
many people, as He stretched forth His hand, that refused the anointing of God, and the call of
God. I saw men and women that I knew, people that I felt that certainly they would receive the call
of God, but as He stretched forth His hand toward this one, and toward that one, they simply
bowed their heads and began to back away. And to each of those who seemed to bow down and
back away, they seemed to go into darkness. Blackness seemed to swallow them everywhere.I was bewildered as I watched it. But these people that He had anointed – hundreds of thousands
of people all over the world – in Africa, Asia, Russia, China, America – all over the world – the
anointing of God was upon these people as they went forth in the Name of the Lord. I saw these
men and women as they went forth. They were ditch diggers; they were washerwomen; they were
rich men; they were poor men. I saw people who were bound with paralysis and sickness, and
blindness and deafness. As the Lord stretched forth His hand to give them the anointing, they
became well; they became healed, and they went forth.
This is the tipping point or the turning point…this is the where many are at in this season – We are dressed in grave clothes of the past failures and shame -But as the Lord is calling ouir name to come forth from the grave of the old we are in a time of struggle – The weight of the shame is pushing our hands down, pushing our desire for Him down…wanting us to withdraw back into the cave and give up–to TURN OUR FACE AWAY!!! But the LOVE THE LORD IS CONSTANT and He is more intent on bringing us through than we of turning ourselves away.
Through the prayers of others in the body we shall receive strength enough to turn our shame wounds to His Light and receive cleansing.
This struggle is why Paul prayed how he did
14 For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.