My Father has been so very gracious to me and I don’t say that lightly. Well let me say it more correctly. I am learning personally new depths of His grace towards me! Out of deep darkness the light does shine! If I did not go through what I go through I could never believe it is true.
I have been in a great struggle for so long.
Going through a rollercoaster ride of defeat after defeat.
But He has made me see that I represent a whole bunch of believers and all I have been struggling with is their common shared lot too. All my struggles are intercession for them. There is no way they can come into the Rest of God unless I go as a forerunner before them into the place of Rest first.
Jesus and I are one.
Jesus ever lives to make intercession for us. How does He do that? Does He get on His knees and pray by His bed at night?
Whatever He does He does through us. Therefore we are His tools of intercession.
Paul said it like this….
2 Cor 4:7-18 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. 8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death is working in us, but life in you.
13 And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,” we also believe and therefore speak, 14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. 15For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
I preached on the day of Pentecost – June 13th – on the struggle to go into the ‘Holiest of All’ and stay there. Jesus has made me see that I represent millions of Pentecostals who are not entering His Rest but are being kept outside(only in imagination-not in reality)in a perpetual struggle within themselves.
“Beware brethren lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God” – Heb 3:12-
The higher truth is however that Jesus will not ever depart from us even as it says in Hebrews 13:5 But the evil heart of unbelief–is a false heart that says: “I am separate from you Jesus!” It is vain imagination. It wants to take credit for all that we do and go through in life as if we are alone and separate in doing it. If we go through a great time of victory it wants to boast that it was because of this that we did or that….and on negative side–if we go through a time of defeat and failure it wants to beat up on itself as if it was solely alone in doing the bad deed. It does not occur to this evil heart mindset that no one is alone…no one does anything in and of themselves!!
We are joined as one with Another just as Jesus was and is. He did not do anything at all by himself or of himself. In fact there is no such thing as a Jesus separate from Father God. Everything Jesus did the Father did and vice versa. The idea that Jesus did anything at all of His own self is supported by the false belief that He is ‘GOD THE SON.’
If Jesus is GOD THE SON…then of course he could do anything of his own self because he is God the Son…..But HE IS NOT GOD THE SON…but rather is the Son of God. He said clearly that “I of mine own self can DO NOTHING”!!
John 5:19
Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.
John 5:30
I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.
John 8:28
Then Jesus said to them, “When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He, and that I do nothing of Myself; but as My Father taught Me, I speak these things.
John 14:10
Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me? The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My ownauthority; but the Father who dwells in Me does the works.
John 15:5
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
What is true of Jesus is also true of you and I. We can do nothing of ourselves. We are inside Jesus and Jesus is inside us. We are one. This applies to everything about us yet we do not see it in it’s fullness. I mean we do not really believe it to be the case about us. Instead we still think that when I fail and get angry that I am alone at that moment suddenly devoid of Jesus when I experienced that low failure place. Instead Jesus is sharing it all with me!
When Peter met Jesus he had experienced an embarrassing failure. A fisherman who caught nothing all night long. Jesus chose Peter’s boat to sit in and preach to the crowds. This was not an accident for the Father ordains all things. Jesus was IN PETER’S BOAT!
DO YOU GET IT?!
Jesus was WITH PETER–IN PETER’S BOAT–SHARING HIS FAILURE WITH HIM. That is what Jesus being in his boat speaks of. Jesus has come into your life–your boat–even your work life, your leisure life, your family life, your sex life, your marriage, your hobbies, your pet hates and pet likes, your favourite things to do, your least liked things, your food and eating habits, the way you look and want to look…the way you think…JESUS IS RIGHT NOW IN YOUR BOAT–YOUR LIFE! SHARING ALL THAT IS YOU!!
Jesus does not share YOU as if he is outside of you –but he shares all that is YOU–not even by being in you somewhere as a small deposit….no…Jesus has become ONE SPIRIT with you….which means HE IS NOW JUST AS MUCH YOU, AS you are you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peter had failed to be a good fisherman…..Jesus the Rabbi…comes into Peter’s life to add to the internal pressure Peter was most likely feeling. “Great! Just fished all night long and caught nothin!..and this holy Rabbi comes and gets in my boat! 🙁 “
Jesus is sharing the feelings of inadequacy and shame with us…and Peter by the grace of God does what Jesus tells him to do and lets down his nets for great catch of fish. His response comes up suddenly: “DEPART FROM ME LORD FOR I AM A SINFUL MAN!”
Jesus already knew Peter by the spirit. He already knew.
HE ALREADY KNEW WHAT YOU WERE LIKE TOO WHEN HE GOT INTO YOUR BOAT WITH YOU.
Think about that! Every time you stuff up..Jesus already knew and he loves you….and He isn’t leaving! A-ah! No way. Jesus stays put inside of you when you feel like a failure and are covered in shame. He never leaves us nor forsakes us EVEN WHEN THAT EVIL HEART OF UNBELIEF rises up and shouts for him TO DEPART FROM ME JESUS FOR I AM A SINFUL MAN!
As Hebrews 3:12 says -The evil heart of unbelief tries to separate us from God….which is impossible in real terms…but can be done where it hurts–The mind…the imagination and the feelings.
I had blown up in anger on a phone call to a boss on Tuesday. Afterwards–straight after..I began beating myself up about it. swore a lot about myself…and hated on myself. I said “Lord if you want to share all that with me you’re welcome to!” There was a lot of anger towards me in it. It seemed to come out of nowhere. The next morning – Pentecost 6/13/2024, I was still carrying on like a pork chop(angry with myself) as I worked inside a refrigerated semi trailer. I had had the Bible on audio in my car just before arriving at work. I had just heard Hebrews where it says—
Heb 10:26-31 For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries. 28 Anyone who has rejected Moses’ law dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace? 30 For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”[g]says the Lord. And again, “The Lord will judge His people.” 31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
Hearing that fearful passage above acted like a trigger for the shame and guilt and remorse and failure and disgust I was full of towards myself. Within seconds I was muttering defeated words and curses at myself about what I had done and always do..and how I can never this and never that….blah blah.
Then in the trailer as I was going on like this….I threw that passage at myself and Jesus as a stone. I threw it at Jesus for being the One who wrote it AGAINST ME! I accused Him of enjoying the fact that I will never suffer His vengeance now..again..and again. And you know what I heard come back at me from the Lord?
“THAT DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU“
I immediately audibly said back “Yeah right! What do you mean it doesn’t apply to me? Of course it does!”
Then silence….and I find myself mulling what He said —and wondering….and recollecting all the evil words I had spoken and the intense anger I had felt….
And I hear – “IT WAS INTERCESSION“
More pondering within….Intercession? Could it have been? Then light came more brightly and I hear the phrase—-
“Today, if you will hear His voice,
8 Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,
In the day of trial in the wilderness,
9 Where your fathers tested Me, tried Me,
And saw My works forty years.
10 Therefore I was angry with that generation,
And said, ‘They always go astray intheirheart,
And they have not known My ways.’
11 So I swore in My wrath,
‘They shall not enter My rest.’ ”
Instantly my soul and spirit joined as one against “the evil heart of unbelief” and by His grace I realised that it was unbelief that arises in me[ NOT ME !!! ] to separate me from Him…the one who loves me and wants for me to enter His rest. He has loved me so much that for all my life he has humbled himself to live as me….sharing all my crap that I shovel upon myself and upon Him. This evil heart of unbelief is something that can be in you but is NOT YOU. It only has power of life because it finds you willing to give it life. How?
The tongue! Evil makes use of the tongue in the same way Life wants to make use of it. When Paul said…
11 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death is working in us, but life in you.13 And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,”we also believe and therefore speak,
When we speak unbelief in regards any of His Word we strengthen the evil heart of unbelief. This is why Hebrews says BEWARE BRETHREN! It’s goal is to cause you to depart from the UNION you are in with Jesus. It does not want you to ENTER HIS REST!!
Rest is to enter fully into ACCEPTING OUR COMPLETE UNION OF SOUL AND SPIRIT AND BODY WITH JESUS CHRIST….NOW! In this world..in this life.
Rest is to accept and come to know that you are really as He is….and where He is…and how he is. If there be any consciousness of sins then there can be no rest for you. The Accuser will not stop trying to get us to speak curses against ourself because of some failure. But Jesus shared the failure with us….in fact we were led into it by Father God!..FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS….who also face the same obstacles to entering in….that we by the grace of God may overcome through His arising faith inside of us–defeating the evil heart of unbelief and speaking in line with what is TRUE about ourselves.
When I was in the trailer cursing myself for my failures…as if I was all alone in it…I heard Jesus say..
“Don’t do that…When you do that, you are hurting Me…every time you do it.”
Silence…then tears and apologies to Him who endures all things for the sake of love. He exhorts us to BELIEVE. And that believing in Hebrews 3 and 4 is in connection with having BECOME PARTAKERS OF CHRIST.
Heb 3:13 but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. 14 For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end,
A partaker or sharer of and in Christ Jesus is one who is in complete union with Him. It is the John 15 abide in the Vine mystery. Satan knows that if he can keep us disconnected from Jesus we will never bear fruit. To abide in Him is a matter of belief and spoken words out from that belief.
I know this is nothing knew to you who read this. And in seeing that — I am tempted again to crumble in a heap of self pity and shame. The very basic thing that the Gospel is all about–abiding in Jesus…has been OUT OF REACH TO ME for over 35 years now. God swore in his grief that they shall not enter His rest BECAUSE OF UNBELIEF……
Pentecost is not the end goal of God…but Tabernacles -the place of REST IN GOD is.
The truth is that we are already inside of Jesus. But the truth and saying the truth on one level does not touch the evil heart of unbelief which has a sinister way of staying hidden. With the mouth they speak but the heart does not believe their own words. This is the problem.
He said to me recently – “You do not trust me.”
One way or another God shall cause me to overcome…and in overcoming..many others shall “comeover” with me.